limericks

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Earlier this year I entered an online limerick competition through Lulu.  Not only was it fun to read and write the limericks – I received 2 honorable mentions!  You’ll find a complete list of winners here.

Honorable Mention in Lulu Limerick Contest
While chatting with friends I tooted
Embarrassed, I said that my shoe did
With fried beans for lunch
I had a good hunch
that my lie would be quickly refuted.

There once was a short man from Durham
He often tried stilts, but they hurt ‘em
He’d walk down the street
dodging bullets and feet
‘Till he reached his old house in the slum

There once was a lady from Cary
The neighbors all thought she was scary
Her Jersey accent
made the natives lament
and long for the days of Gregg Cherry

There once was a blind man from Raleigh
who had an arthritic blind Collie
They’d walk to Moore Square
without any care
Until they got hit by a trolley.

After 25 years I got a raise
A party, some cake with lots of praise
Soon my job duties doubled
My life was in trouble
I’m too lazy to work longer days!

My kitchen is always dirty
My husband is always flirty
Perhaps if I cleaned
And cooked kidney beans
He’d be home before 10:30.

Honorable Mention in Lulu Limerick Contest
One day I walked to the zoo
A lion began licking my shoe
I asked, “Want to eat?
I brought you some meat!”
He said, “No, I’m hungry for you.”

My stomach is grumbling; I want some fried fish
Fried fish in fish tacos is the greatest dish
Fish-n-chips is a classic
Goes well with Vlasic
But tacos are my dinner wish

I went to the cobbler today.
Excited, I planned to say
“There’s a hole in my shoe;
My big toe has turned blue!”
It was closed, so I hobbled away.

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