When I purchased my new washer and dryer I had no idea I would use the “sanitize” cycle as frequently as I did this week.  Yes, I know that kids get dirty – but this week has been one out of a bio-hazard handbook.  Case & point:

Monday: Sanitize Cycle # 1, Urine & Vomit

Monday morning the dog decided to unload an entire bladder full of urine on the carpeted steps.  Upon making Brantley’s bed I found a large pile of vomit.  Jason tackled the pee while I cleaned-up the bed.

Tuesday: Sanitize Cycle #2, Urine

Brantley got off to school with no incident.  However, the dog – again – peed on the floor.  The next step was to let the dog outside, but the dog had other plans; find a new home.  So, I waded through the muddy natural area and snuck on my neighbor’s farm while Jason took to the streets. Thankfully we found him down the road.

Wednesday: Sanitize Cycle #3, Poop

Our son gave us a lovely 6:00 a.m. wake-up call today, a liquid pile of poo. It was everywhere; floor, couch, dripping down Brantley’s leg, well – you get the point.  Trust me, liquid poo has a high splatter factor. Jason tackled the poop while I gave Brantley an early morning bath.

Thursday: Sanitize Cycle #4, Poop & Blood

The morning went off incident free, so we thought we were in the clear  After work, however, was another story.  The dog decided to eat his tail which left a small pile of blood on the carpet.  Easily cleaned up.  10 p.m. rolled around – all was quiet in the house until we heard it – the sound of shart mixed with liquid distress.  I rushed to pick up Brantley and put him in the bathroom. I was proud of my tiger-like quickness, again thinking we were clear. I was wrong.  Upon releasing the pull-up – a volcano of liquid poop flowed on the floor.  Never in my life did I think that – one day – I would clean liquid poop out of the cracks of the hardwood floors with a toothpick.  Disgusting.

Friday: Sanitize Cycle #5, Poop

Another early morning bed incident involving poop.  This clean-up took 2 sanitize cycles.

Tomorrow is Saturday.  Tomorrow I will not touch any disgusting fluids.  I won’t.

Seriously, I will refuse.



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