When I purchased my new washer and dryer I had no idea I would use the “sanitize” cycle as frequently as I did this week. Yes, I know that kids get dirty – but this week has been one out of a bio-hazard handbook. Case & point:
Monday: Sanitize Cycle # 1, Urine & Vomit
Monday morning the dog decided to unload an entire bladder full of urine on the carpeted steps. Upon making Brantley’s bed I found a large pile of vomit. Jason tackled the pee while I cleaned-up the bed.
Tuesday: Sanitize Cycle #2, Urine
Brantley got off to school with no incident. However, the dog – again – peed on the floor. The next step was to let the dog outside, but the dog had other plans; find a new home. So, I waded through the muddy natural area and snuck on my neighbor’s farm while Jason took to the streets. Thankfully we found him down the road.
Wednesday: Sanitize Cycle #3, Poop
Our son gave us a lovely 6:00 a.m. wake-up call today, a liquid pile of poo. It was everywhere; floor, couch, dripping down Brantley’s leg, well – you get the point. Trust me, liquid poo has a high splatter factor. Jason tackled the poop while I gave Brantley an early morning bath.
Thursday: Sanitize Cycle #4, Poop & Blood
The morning went off incident free, so we thought we were in the clear After work, however, was another story. The dog decided to eat his tail which left a small pile of blood on the carpet. Easily cleaned up. 10 p.m. rolled around – all was quiet in the house until we heard it – the sound of shart mixed with liquid distress. I rushed to pick up Brantley and put him in the bathroom. I was proud of my tiger-like quickness, again thinking we were clear. I was wrong. Upon releasing the pull-up – a volcano of liquid poop flowed on the floor. Never in my life did I think that – one day – I would clean liquid poop out of the cracks of the hardwood floors with a toothpick. Disgusting.
Friday: Sanitize Cycle #5, Poop
Another early morning bed incident involving poop. This clean-up took 2 sanitize cycles.
Tomorrow is Saturday. Tomorrow I will not touch any disgusting fluids. I won’t.
Seriously, I will refuse.